Hello everyone! Tonight – October 9, 2012 – I will be chatting about astrology with psychic, Nini Grace, on her Grace of Spirituality radio show. The show starts at 9 p.m. EDT. Just click here to tune in. I’ll also be taking calls. And if you can’t tune in tonight, the show will be archived so you can listen to it at your convenience.

I hope you’re all happy and well.

PeaceNLove,

Laura

Ah, Libra: The diurnal child of Venus, the planet of love and beauty. The lover. The peacemaker. The charmer.

Libra is a cardinal leadership air sign and is represented by the Scales. He has the uncanny ability to melt others into submission with a dimpled smile and lead others with charm and diplomacy. Because Libras like to loll around and take their time, to more assertive signs they may appear lazy. But don’t be fooled: They’ll see to it that their intentions are fulfilled, regardless of how many people they need to flatter and cajole into doing their bidding.

Libra is the sign of the artist, writer, musician, poet, social butterfly, interior designer, fashionista – anything to do with the outward expression of all that’s Venusian. Fairness, justice and keeping the peace are also Libra’s domain. You’ll find just as many Libras in a courtroom as you would in an art gallery or after-hours party.

Libra is also the sign of partnership. The Sun is pretty weak in Libra and being alone feels foreign to this sign. Don’t get me wrong: They can amuse themselves just fine and many need alone time throughout the day to fine tune and rebalance those pesky Scales. (Aries is Libra’s opposite sign and there’s a part of them that does strive for complete autonomy and independence.) But for a Libra, not having a significant other can be very painful, especially for the less evolved of them. A Libra without a partner is like a Leo who gets no attention or a Sagittarius who has no freedom: Sure, they can live. But life is dull, drab and unfulfilling.

So what gives? Why do so many of these attractive, intelligent, charming, soul-mate seeking folks find themselves single? Is it because the Universe wants to make sure we’re never short of sappy love ballads and poetry about unrequited love? Maybe. But I’m more apt to blame it on those Scales.

Libras are completely wrapped up in trying to keep their Scales in balance, making sure both sides of every story are heard, making sure a situation remains fair and impartial. They’re always teetering between what they want for themselves and wanting to please the other at all cost. And when their Scales are off kilter, their charming ways are often eclipsed by indecision, belligerence, and ironic self-absorption. Libras are used to this insanity. Unsuspecting suitors, however, are not.

Luckily, I can show you what I’m getting at through example.

Apparently, once a year female members of each Zodiac sign collect all of their love letters, poems, gifts – anything they accumulated during a relationship with a Libra that year – and meet with each other for a bitch session. There they share these mementos with each other and then burn them at the end of the night in a big bon fire. It’s very cathartic and I’m told that along with their stories they also share lots of wine and laughs. I can’t believe I never knew about this.

Anyway, one of the members of this group heard I was writing an article about why some Libras are single and she sent me a bunch of letters that were written by a Libra man to each respective sign of the Zodiac. From what I understand the same man wrote these letters, just to different women. He was obviously pretty busy over the past year! Regardless, these letters provide oodles of insight. Enjoy…

Dear Aries,

I actually find your incorrigibility very cute. However, I wish my desire to give each decision careful thought didn’t irritate you so much. You say I’m too slow, but do you really need to get so angry? I don’t mean to argue, I really don’t. But how am I supposed to choose one entrée out of 30 in a mere 15 minutes? For your information, I really do care about the waiter’s opinion (based on your sarcastic comments, apparently you don’t.) Deciding what to eat is a big decision that I don’t wish to rush into lightly. Still, I’m sorry you got bored waiting for me to decide and I wish you didn’t fly into a rage and leave during the dessert deliberation. I’m really a fun person. Let me prove it to you. You are the fire that burns eternal in my heart. Would you give me another chance?

Love,

Libra

Dear Taurus,

When you asked me how I liked your jeans, my response was by no means an insinuation that you look fat in them. I was simply weighing the pros and cons of skinny jeans versus boot cut jeans. As you know, fashion is very important to me and I’ve given this matter a lot of thought. Sadly I feel you misconstrued my assessment that you’re proof that a woman doesn’t need to be skinny to pull off skinny jeans. I don’t mean to argue, I really don’t. You fill out your jeans very nicely and I’d take a girl like you over a skinny one any day. You’re as beautiful as a field of spring flowers. Would you give me another chance?

Love,

Libra

Dear Gemini,

You are certainly an intelligent, well-read woman; however, you talk and think so fast, I really don’t think you consider all sides of an issue. You’re an enchanting, brilliant conversationalist, though I admit at times it’s a bit difficult getting a word in edge-wise. I don’t mean to argue, I really don’t. But I draw the line at watching you text your friends, post on Facebook and respond to emails during a date. I’m sorry I blurting out that you were being rude. However, you did make me chuckle with your witty repartee and your outfit was fabulous. Your laughter flutters in my heart like a butterfly taking flight. Would you give me another chance?

Love,

Libra

Dear Cancer,

I’m sorry I made you cry. I’m a Libra: Of course I believe in marriage and happily ever after. But considering the divorce rate – not to mention how the institution of marriage is changing so rapidly – society has yet to catch up and redefine what it really means to be married in this day and age. As a result I don’t to want to jump into making any rash decisions. I think dating for five years before tying the knot is perfectly acceptable. Considering your reaction to my statement, apparently you don’t agree. I don’t mean to argue, I really don’t. However, if it would make you feel more secure, if we’re still together after a couple of years we can pretend to be married. However, I draw the line at letting your mother move in. Your eyes gleam like moonbeams illuminating the evening sea. Would you give me another chance?

Love,

Libra

Dear Leo,

The weekend we spent together was probably the most intoxicating time I’ve ever spent with a woman. The night on the town. The stay at the five-star hotel. The day at the spa. The shopping spree. It was like a dream come true. (Again, thank you for your generosity.) But please you must believe me: I was not flirting with the sales clerk at Barney’s. When she bent down to search for my size, I was not checking out her ass! Instead, I was just reading the label on her pants. I don’t mean to argue, I really don’t. But use common sense: How can I take advice from sales clerk who makes bad fashion choices? I had to get a good look at what she was wearing to make sure I was getting advice from the real deal. Darling, looking at another woman when I’m with you is like rummaging through the bargain basement when I could be getting a custom-fit suit for free. Your laughter ignites my soul with the warmth of a thousand suns. Would you give me another chance?

Love,

Libra

Dear Virgo,

I would like to express to you once again how much I appreciate you opening your home to me and cooking me that delicious vegetarian meal. Your culinary skills are stupendous. However, I admit I feel very bad about the crooked picture incident. I don’t mean to argue, I really don’t. But the picture hanging over your couch was in fact a bit off balance. It veered ever so slightly to the left. I didn’t realize that it was presumptuous of me to straighten it out. I know you disagree and feel that all of the pictures in your house are in perfect alignment. But I assure you this one was not. I was just doing you a favor and I really wish the evening didn’t end with you kicking me out. You embody the essence of purity and light. Would you give me another chance?

Love,

Libra

Dear Libra,

When I met you, I was thrilled discover how much we have in common. I feel so alone in my deep love for the world and in my devotion to peace, harmony and beauty. Looking into your eyes was like looking into a mirror. However, I am disappointed that is all we did the evening of our date: Stare at each other. I don’t mean to argue, I really don’t. But if this relationship is going to get off the ground, one of us is going to have to make a decision about how to spend our time together. If you want to go out for dinner, that’s fine by me. I personally wouldn’t mind going to an art gallery, but if you would rather go out and eat, I am fine with that. Though there’s a new movie I’d like to see. But that doesn’t matter. Really, it’s all about you and your happiness. Your skin is as ethereal as the gossamer wings of an angel. Would you give me another chance?

Love,

Libra

Dear Scorpio,

From the moment I first laid eyes on you I was mesmerized. How could I resist your sex appeal, your air of mystery? I was drawn to you like a moth to a flame. However, I had no idea that our date would get so passionate so quickly. I don’t mean to argue, I really don’t. But why wouldn’t you take no for an answer? How did the evening end with me tied to the bedpost? Did you slip something in my drink? Though I am a romantic at heart, I’m also a man of integrity and reason, so don’t assume that every date with me will end that way. (Uh, there will be another date, won’t there?) Your sultry stare hypnotizes me into a state of erotic submission. Would you give me another chance?

Love,

Libra

Dear Sagittarius,

I had so much fun on our date – I haven’t laughed so hard in ages. You certainly kept me on my toes: One minute you were goofing around like a clown, the next minute you were waxing philosophical. You were so good-natured! And that’s why I was surprised you didn’t understand why I got so upset about the dog hair I picked up on my new outfit when I sat on your couch. I don’t mean to argue, I really don’t. But I don’t think it’s fair that you assume I don’t like animals as a result of this incident. Why is our relationship contingent on my accepting hair and drool all over my clothes? And you admitted you don’t like to clean, so why were you so offended when I said your house smelled like a kennel? I seriously don’t get you. Yet, spending time with you is like taking an adventurous journey to an exotic, far-off land. Would you give me another chance?

Love,

Libra

Dear Capricorn,

It is obvious that you are a woman of class and elegance. Your stately demeanor and quiet self-assurance are suggestive of a successful woman of substance. That’s why I pulled out all the stops for our date: Dinner at the finest restaurant in town and tickets to the hottest show. But apparently impressing you is an exercise in futility. No, it’s not enough that I treated you to a dazzling evening. You took issue with the fact that I’m throwing my money away on luxuries and entertainment when I should be investing it and putting it away for a rainy day. I don’t mean to argue, I really don’t. But if I didn’t spend my money on such an elaborate date, would you have even given me the time of day? And was it fair for you to laugh in my face when you asked about my portfolio and I assumed you were referring to my art portfolio? (Which I’m very proud of, by the way.) Still, I’m very sorry I accused you of being calculating and money hungry. I am humbled by your beauty, grace and sophistication. Would you give me another chance?

Love,

Libra

Dear Aquarius,

Oh how I love your social awareness! Finally I have met someone who cares as deeply as I do about peace, love and wanting to make this world a better place for all living creatures, human and otherwise. I loved your passion and devotion as you spoke about the social reforms you hold near and dear to your big heart. I totally agree that love is the answer to all of the world’s problems, and I intend to do my part in spreading that love. However, I do not intend to stop wearing leather shoes. I don’t mean to argue, I really don’t. But I can’t wear cheap shoes. Sorry. It’s not happening. I think it’s great that you choose not to wear leather and I suspect the cows of the world are probably very appreciative. And I also think it’s great that your feet can’t tell the difference between pleather and Italian leather. But mine can. And synthetic materials make them sad. I hope we can get beyond this issue. Your aura is a rainbow of colors born of Universal awareness and love. Would you give me another chance?

Love,

Libra

Dear Pisces,

Is it possible that I have finally met someone who has an even more idealized view on love than mine? Our time together has been nothing less than an intoxicating romantic fantasy and I am so grateful you invited me into your world of kindness, tenderness and compassion. When I am with you, I hear music even when none is playing and I see art even when there’s none on the walls. Simple phrases turn to poetry, ugly sounds become lovely songs. I don’t mean to argue, I really don’t. But I think you might be driving me insane. Are you some sort of wizard? I’m all for beauty, music and art, but I’m losing touch with reality here. I’m afraid if I stick around and keep drinking your Kool-Aid I may get sucked into your world of rainbows and unicorns. Then again, is that such a bad thing? You are the ship I sail over the waves of emotion and into the safe harbor of love. Please give me a chance.

Love,

Libra

Need I explain more? I didn’t think so.

Until next time…

PeaceNLove,

Laura

There are many uncertainties in this world, but there’s one thing I’m completely and totally sure about: Overeating has nothing to do with being physically hungry. It’s an emotional response to a deeper problem. And as an astrologically inclined individual, I can’t utter the phrase “deep problems” without thinking about our little friend on the edge of the solar system, Pluto.

Despite Pluto’s diminutive size, it packs a powerful punch. Its job is to destroy anything in its path that is no longer serving a purpose in your life. Resistance is futile. Cry all you want, but if Pluto has its way anything in your life built on faulty foundations will come down. The good news is once you’ve cried over the situation and have gotten your wits about you, Pluto helps you rebuild whatever it demolished. And you can be sure that the final product will be a more authentic reality far more in line with your spiritual evolution. This is the transformative part of Pluto.

But it’s got a destructive side, too.

Pluto is associated with an array of ugly, potent, all-consuming emotions. Many of these emotions are repressed, shoved into a dark corner of our psyches and chained to a wall of pain and embarrassment. The triggers that release these emotions vary per individual. However, Plutonian emotions themselves are universal, primal and potentially destructive. Rage. Revenge. Hatred. Jealousy. (To name a few.)

But here’s the catch: These “ugly” emotions are actually tools that sadistic little Pluto uses to get you in so much pain that you’re literally forced to cry uncle, to fall into a heap of sheer exhaustion, and then to throw yourself at the mercy of the Universe and to just accept change.

Getting slim and healthy is certainly an act of transformation. But it’s very important that during this process of changing how and WHY you eat the way you do, you face the Plutonian emotions that have derailed your efforts in the past and use them as a tool for transformation – rather than as a tool for masochistic self-loathing and sabotage.

The good news is there’s nothing in the Pluto handbook that says we have to become a slave to “dark” emotions before we wake up and recognize the meaning we’re supposed to derive from them. That’s where a little bit of self-awareness and spiritual knowledge goes a long way.

In my opinion, jealousy – probably the most embarrassing of all of the Plutonian weapons of emotional mass destruction – can actually provide you with oodles of information about what it is you really need to change to maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle. The emotion itself literally feels like a punch in the stomach. We feel it in the solar plexus. And often our solution to this ego debilitating bellyache is to nurture ourselves with food we don’t need.

By determining the role jealousy plays in your subconscious, you actually have an opportunity to finally put an end to feeding the insatiable green-eyed monster. When you feel jealous, it’s important to keep in mind that jealousy itself isn’t the problem: It’s merely a symptom of the problem. Jealousy is the emotion that occurs when our needs aren’t being met. When we feel powerless. When we let the ego and its ridiculous demands get in the way of our connection to the Universe. When we lose faith in the miracle of our own lives.

A couple of years ago I came up with the saying: “Jealousy is the unrecognized greatness inside of you trying to claw its way out”. I still firmly believe this is true. If you are happy with who you are, if you’re satisfied with how you’re contributing to this world, if you feel in line with your soul’s purpose, if you love yourself and recognize your essential role in the Universe, there is no need for jealousy. A spiritually connected person knows that the Universe provides everything she needs.

Spiritual connectedness requires turning inward. But unless we become hermits or monks, we have to turn outward once in a while in order to function in society. And what mechanism do our spirits use to mingle with other spirits in the material world? You guessed it: Our personality and its annoying sidekick the ego. And when we’re seduced by the trappings of the outside world and fail to remember to center ourselves by frequently turning inward, the ego has a habit of getting out of control. Next thing you know you’re rubbing elbows with annoying emotions like jealousy.

Pluto is in everyone’s chart. Everyone has something that, unless fulfilled, will take over and turn us into raging, emotionally out of control, vengeful lunatics. For some it’s the love of another. For others it’s success. A nicer house. Brighter kids. A better body. More attention. Popularity. Jealousy seduces us into thinking we hate the person who has what we want, but in truth we really hate ourselves for being “substandard”. We think the person who has what we want has power, but in truth we’re giving our power away to them by letting the jealousy take over.

Jealousy is an indicator that you don’t trust the Universe to tend to your needs or fulfill your intentions. It throws a wrench into the Universal flow. The Universe receives our thoughts and feelings and just gives us more of what we’re thinking about and emotionally experiencing. The Universe hears your cries about how it’s unfair that someone has what you want; it senses your disappointment and self-loathing; it picks up on your belief that the law of infinite abundance doesn’t apply to you. So it gives you exactly what you’re thinking and feeling: More unfair scenarios, more disappointing experiences and less of what you desire. Jealousy is nothing short of sabotage on a personal and spiritual level.

Like I said, the less than desirable Plutonian emotions that we try to suppress are actually tools for transformation. The emotion of jealousy is the harbinger of some very important, personal information. It’s telling you what’s missing in your life that needs to be fulfilled. You need to face your demons, accept yourself as human and trust that the Universe has your back. What you think and how you feel creates your reality. Once you make those thoughts and feelings loving, kind and accepting that’s what you’ll receive: An abundance of love, kindness and acceptance.

It’s very important, however, that when you open yourself up to the abundance of the Universe you don’t get hung up on the outcome. Often it’s that gosh darned ego that gets us attached to the outcome and keeps us from recognizing our blessings and true path in life.

The ego tells us that we need X, Y or Z to be happy. The Universe, however, doesn’t operate that way. The actual object of your desire – be it a specific job or love interest – should be regarded as a mere symbol of what your soul needs to evolve. If your intention is to work at a fulfilling career then the Universe will provide you with a fulfilling career. But tell the Universe you’ll only be fulfilled if you’re a movie star, then the Universe will see to it that you’re only happy if you become a movie star. (Which can very well be never this time around in the Earth school.)

You can’t bully the Universe into meeting ego demands that are not in line with your soul’s purpose. True happiness comes when you just accept that the Universe knows what’s best for your spiritual evolvement and you’re grateful for what you have. Your ego knows squat about true happiness. It just thinks it does.

If you’re in the process of trying to get slim and healthy, don’t even let jealousy through the front door. The whole process of getting slim makes it very easy to compare your weight and body to people in your life or to the unrealistic images of Hollywood starlets and models. Comparing yourself to anyone else is crime against your own magnificence. Don’t allow envy or jealousy of someone else’s physical attributes to diminish your belief in your own beauty. Be grateful for what you have.

However, if negative emotions do surface and you’re tempted to nurture them with food your body doesn’t need, remember you have the key to unlock the chains that bind you to the wall of emotional shame. If you face, own and finally try to understand what your negative emotions are trying to tell you, you can finally transform your life and get out of the loop of unconstructive patterns that don’t serve your evolvement. Pluto will make sure the past is destroyed, dead and buried so the authentic you can rise from the rubble stronger, wiser and happier.

Until next time…

PeaceNLove,

Laura

You can literally feel the moment the Sun moves into Virgo. It’s late August. You’re enjoying fun and friends, good food and good times, parties and picnics then all of a sudden – BAM – the shoe drops. Anxiety starts gnawing away at your stomach. You become consumed with the impending heavier workload at the office. You lay awake at night wondering how you’re going to get everything done. The kids are slapped back into reality as they face a new school year. We trade in our margaritas for Alka Seltzer cocktails.

Virgo is a sign synonymous with work. They just love the stuff. Shit, even the Virgo holiday, Labor Day, is about work. Hurray, let’s celebrate labor. C’mon, could that holiday be any more depressing? Nothing like watching a telethon and crying over the end of summer. Good times, good times.

Virgo is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication. But unlike chatty, social Gemini, which is also ruled by Mercury, Virgo is a cerebral, critical thinker. Where Gemini is happy knowing just enough to appear knowledgeable (jack of all trades but master of none), Virgo needs to analyze a topic to the point of exhaustion. Virgo would rather think than talk; however, when they do have something to say they make quite an impression with their caustic observations and sarcastic witticisms.

These highly intelligent, incredibly neurotic, yet undoubtedly good-hearted folks live to serve you. They know you’re nothing less than a diamond in the rough and they will chip and rub away at you until you shine. Unfortunately, many folks don’t recognize that they’re only trying to help (let’s face it, Virgos help regardless of whether they’re asked to or not) which is why Virgo is often considered to be a critical nitpicker. But how can Virgo make you better unless he first points out what’s wrong? It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it. And considering how much Virgo hates dirt, it’s a testament to his character that he still bothers to devote his precious time and energy to you and your crap.

Virgos are the administrators of the Zodiac, the perennial perfectionists who keep our chaotic lives (chaotic by Virgo’s standards) running smoothly. With that said, it is with great excitement and pleasure that I get to share with you something very rare and special. I have managed to get my hands on the minutes of a recent Zodiac town hall meeting held by the Virgo constituency.

Apparently once a month – precisely the third Monday of the month at 10:02 a.m. – a Virgo spokesperson speaks to representatives from the other 11 signs about any issues that may be getting in the way of keeping the place in tip top shape and running smoothly. (From what I understand, it’s basically a bitch session where Virgo does the complaining and everyone sits and listens.) If you want a better insight into the character of a Virgo and what this sign is “up against” on a daily basis, read on …

Minutes for the Monthly Virgo Administrative Meeting

Call to order: A town hall meeting for the signs of the Zodiac was held in an undisclosed place on the third Monday of this month. The meeting convened at 10:02 a.m., with Virgo #602.75 presiding and Virgo #602.754 keeping minutes. Both representatives ate a healthy breakfast consisting of granola and Greek yogurt before starting the meeting.

Members in attendance: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Capricorn and Pisces.

Members not in attendance: Aquarius was tardy and missed the first four minutes of the meeting. Collectively, Aquarius has missed 5,623 town hall meeting minutes, which translates to approximately 94 hours or close to four days. We at Virgo headquarters are waiting for Aquarius to finally invent a working time machine that will allow them to travel back in time and retrieve the four days owed to us.

The following words were delivered by Virgo #602.75 and recorded verbatim by Virgo #602.754. Tonal inflections are not included in the text: Attention … Attention everyone … Excuse me … Ahem! … Quiet please! Gemini, I have the floor, can you please stop the chatter? Thank you.

Time is precious and the sooner we address the issues, the sooner we can all get back to work. We’ve allotted 20 minutes and 35 seconds to this meeting and going over even a nanosecond will severely upset today’s schedule.

First order of business is the budget…

Aries, you are in the red again. We are seriously considering thoroughly investigating the expensive “accidents” you are reporting to our offices. It seems highly unlikely that anyone would lose control of a motorcycle and drive through a café. We also find it difficult to consider taking a wall down with a sledgehammer during a party as a redecorating expense. Luckily the Cancer community hasn’t spent a dime of its budget since 1981 and is willing to loan you the money you need to get back into the black. Congratulations, Aries. You managed to win the sympathy of the co-dependents of the Zodiac.

Next, is news from Virgo headquarters …

As you know, on top of our usual enormous workload our offices are still trying to unravel the mystery behind how Charlie Sheen could be a Virgo. I know this anomaly is old news to the rest of you, but we will not be satisfied until we figure out how he slipped through the cracks and managed to be born under our sign. We are still baffled by his behavior. Just an update: After careful research, we can definitively conclude that no Virgo human on record has ever been born with tiger blood pulsing through his or her veins. We’ll keep you posted on any further developments.

[Door to boardroom swings open. Aquarius stumbles in 4 minutes late.]

Oh, Aquarius thanks for joining us. You’re late.

[Aquarius mumbles something inaudible.]

Profound Aquarius, but I don’t agree. Time is not relative: Time is money. And until a new time zone is developed specifically for you, we expect you to participate in the one recognized by the rest of us. There’s a seat in the back next to Sagittarius. Use it. But check for gum on the chair before you sit.

OK, let’s move on to unfinished business from last month’s meeting …

As usual, there is no unfinished business because leaving something unfinished puts us in a state of panic.

Moving on to new business…

We have finally calculated and double-checked the results of the Zodiac health and fitness tests we conducted last spring on the members of your respective signs. Capricorn let your people know that your test results have been thrown out. We know you paid several Leo, Sagittarius and Aries constituents to take the tests for you. Very clever. When your people start dropping dead at their desks from heart attacks once they hit 40 don’t say we didn’t try to help.

Anyway, overall we’re pleased with most of your results. However, there are a few signs that we feel we need to work more closely with on improving overall health. Pisces, your sign’s blood/alcohol levels are alarmingly high. Cancer, you’ve got the most junk food eaters. Taurus, most of you seem to have gravy – not blood – pulsing through your veins. Finally, Libra, you need to exercise more, and no, shopping is NOT exercise.

Next order of business …

As usual, you guys can do a better job keeping things neater around here. I’m looking at you specifically, Sagittarius and Taurus. Sagittarius, please tell your people to take off their shoes when they enter a house or room – you guys consistently tread dog feces all over the place. Taurus, I know you like to surround yourself with your “stuff”, but can you try moving your little knick-knacks when you’re dusting rather than just going around them? And we know the empty toilet rolls in the bathroom is your doing – you people are the only ones lazy enough to consistently choose drip drying over changing the damn toilet paper.

Speaking of bathrooms, the Leos need to stop kissing their reflections in the mirror. Sure, expensive lipstick stays on your lips longer, but it’s literally impossible to clean off glass. By the way, why do you all wear such hideously garish shades?

We’re hesitant to bring up the next order of business – not because we’re unsure of its appropriateness but because we fear that by exposing the truth we’re risking our lives. However, we can no longer let this situation go on, so we’ll take the risk. Lately several Virgos have reported being sexually harassed by Scorpio constituents. Hiding under our beds and in our closets naked and ready to go is not only immoral but it’s also illegal. Apparently the Scorpios are on mission to “deflower and break us in”. News flash: Not all Virgos are literally virgins. We have sex lives. We enjoy sex. And we’d be happy to prove it to you if you take a shower, brush your teeth and put on some deodorant – precisely in that order. Then we promise to rock your world.

Moving on…

As usual our offices are inundated daily with your problems. Just a reminder: We only want to hear problems that are practical in nature, that can be fixed without any emotional drama. We remain firm in our resolve that we do not wish to hear you cry, moan or carry on. Emotional problems are not our area. Please go to our opposite sign, Pisces, for that. They’ll cry along with you. Actually, after a few minutes with them you’ll discover that your problems are not as bad as you thought after all.

Finally on to our last order of business…

It’s embarrassing to even bring this up. No, not embarrassing for the Virgos, but for the individuals behind this ridiculous, cruel caper. I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about because we suspect you’re all in on it some how, some way. But we’ll participate in the charade by talking about it as if all but one of you is innocent.

Here it goes: Apparently one, or some, or all of you jokesters managed to sneak – no break – into our offices last week. During this illicit visit you changed the time on each one of our clocks. Imagine our horror when we came in to work the next morning to find one clock two minutes off, another 30 seconds off and another up to five minutes off. Five minutes! Well, needless to say, this hilarious joke of yours not only caused chaos and confusion, Virgo #462.3 had to be rushed to the hospital for heart palpitations.

To start with crime is serious. This is clearly a case of breaking and entering. Secondly, how dare you mess with our livelihoods and prey on our OCD tendencies?

[Whispers of giggles fill the room.]

Oh, so you think it’s funny? You think we’re a joke? Do you think it’s easy to watch you all make the same mistakes over and over despite our best efforts to help you? We realize that pointing out your stupidity day after day, month after month, year after year, only serves to further alienate us from the pack. But we do it anyway. We didn’t ask for a life of servitude, but that’s what we got. And we carry on just the same with the hope that someday we’ll get an ounce of appreciation and respect. So go ahead, make fun of us. Have a good laugh at our expense.

But tell me Capricorn, without us who would get your memos out on time? God knows you wouldn’t lower yourself to such a menial task.

And Libra, who else would make sure your love letters are grammatically correct? True beauty is in the details, Prince Charming.

And Sagittarius, who are you going to get to clean up the vomit stains the day after your next big party? Certainly not you. Your hangovers last for days and if you don’t get to those stains right away they’re impossible to get out.

And Leo, do you think anyone else would be willing to iron all of your clothes? You spend so much money on your wardrobe, yet you’ve proven time and time again that you’re incapable of getting the creases right.

We can go on and on with more examples, but we’re running out of time. In closing, let us remind you that Mother Teresa was also a Virgo and when she said, “A life not lived for others is not a life,” and “Prayer in action is love, love in action is service,” she was articulating two Virgo mantras. Sure we complain and nag at you, but we also realize that it’s only through serving and helping you that we get closer to The Divine. We may have a weird way of showing it, but we really do love you guys and we … oh crap, we’ve gone five seconds over.

Meeting adjourned.

I always marched to the beat of my own drummer. In High School most kids couldn’t wait for the 3:00 bell to ring so they could go to some sort of team practice, hang out with friends, or talk on the phone about their latest love interest. Me, I couldn’t wait to go home, lock myself in my room, put on some records and spend hours drawing comic strips.

I was obsessive. I started drawing and writing at a very young age. By the time I hit my teen years, I had this full-blown comic strip that chronicled the life of this hapless musician and his flakey friends. Every day at school I’d pass these comics around to friends who’d pass them to other friends, etc. I’d get the strip back toward the end of the day and I couldn’t wait to go home and write more. It was true passion.

Everyone thought this was really cool. Well, everyone but …

OK, I’m not going to publicly call anyone out. I’ve avoided writing from a personal perspective out of love and respect for people who truly tried their best. So let’s pretend, in this instance, it was my dog who put a knife through my heart when I was about 16.

My dog hated it when I would spend hours with my creative work. My dog thought it was a waste of time and I should be downstairs with the family watching bad 80s sitcoms. So one day my dog got fed up, marched up to my room, dismantled my stereo, took my comic strips away and declared, “No more of this nonsense!”

“But Harpo!” I cried. (My dog’s name was Harpo.) “I really think this is what I’m meant to be doing. I’m on to something … special.”

Then I remember what Harpo said: “Special? You are not special. You are just like everyone else, and don’t you forget it.”

Then with my comic strips locked firmly in his jaw and his tail held high, Harpo trotted out. Then he buried my comics out in the backyard and crapped all over them.

OK, that’s not true.

But that day he took away more than my music and my creative work. He rattled my faith in my abilities. Stole my joy. He took the most intimate part of me, chewed it up and spit it out. He wounded me deep.

He pulled a Chiron.

In astrology Chiron is known as the wounded healer. These wounds stem from our childhood and haunt us for the rest of our lives. That is, until, we somehow learn to derive meaning from these hurts. Then once we experience the “Ah ha, now I get it. I finally know why I had to suffer through that,” we become sort of experts in the field and are able to counsel others who are going through the same garbage.

I don’t know why Saturn gets such a bad wrap for being the stone drag of the natal chart because let me tell you Chiron is a piece of work. Saturn limits you, Saturn restricts you, Saturn makes you grow up. Chiron, on the other hand, reminds you of the time you were publicly humiliated when you peed in the sandbox, when you tried to hold a boy’s hand and he rejected you by calling you ugly, and when your teacher mocked your math skills in front of the class and made you feel stupid.

Yes, Chiron represents those deep, spiritual wounds of childhood that stay with you and affect you as an adult. Perhaps peeing in public led to a fear of socializing, rejection from a boy led to a lifelong fear of revealing your feelings to another and your mean math teacher planted the seed that you’re intellectually inferior. That’s the kind of crap that can hold you back from finding true happiness. No, Saturn doesn’t get that personal, that emotional. Even Saturn knows when he’s gone too far.

Everyone has Chiron in their chart. You do, your kids do, even your dogs do. (In Harpo’s case, his South Node conjuncted my Chiron. But that’s another story.) Chiron may be a lowly asteroid, but it has the same influence on an individual as a planet. You can’t get the full gist of a chart without getting to know Chiron.

My Chiron just so happens to be in Pisces and in my 5th house. It’s no surprise that the 5th house is about creativity and self-expression and Pisces represents faith and belief. Growing up, no one really supported my creative side. They had no faith that being creative could earn me a good living one day. Shit, Harpo flat out refused to pay for college if I majored in art. (However, I did manage to minor in it.)

It’s only since I’ve had my own kids (which the 5th house also represents) that I’m beginning to understand and derive meaning from my painful experiences surrounding creative expression as a child. After a miserable, thankless career in corporate America I took time off to stay home and raise my kids. As a result I became reacquainted with the powerful creativity that lives inside of me – the creativity that needs to express itself, that needs to be believed in. I’ve come to realize that being creative is what fulfills me. Doing the “safe” thing leads to a safe life with very little room for individual expression. Perhaps you can be happy being safe. But happy is not enough for me. I require joy.

It’s this wounded healer inside that drives me to want to help people to believe in themselves, to trust in their abilities, to not forsake their purpose in life out of fear. Fear is a result of a loss of faith. Trust instead. Only through trust can the magic of the Universe freely flow through you. Your intuition, your creative spirit knows what’s right for you. Only you know what’s right for you. Stay strong in your individuality, stay clear in your purpose and never lose faith. Always believe.

The best part of attempting to help others heal in an area that is seriously wounded within yourself is that by doing so you’re directly healing yourself. Yes, God helps those who help themselves. And Chiron puts you in touch with the Divine spark living inside of you that’s waiting to be fanned into a flame of magnificent light.

My life is currently going through a state of flux that I predict will balloon into full-blown change in the near future. It was recommended to me, by someone who means well, that perhaps I should do something more mainstream, more practical with my life. Something safe. Sound familiar?

But I know better now. I can’t go back. Chiron has taught me so much.

My wounds from Chiron have been reduced to scars that serve as a grave reminder of the past. But they also serve as proof that pain cannot only be transcended, but also leveraged to build a truly authentic life.

Until next time…

PeaceNLove,

Laura

It’s been a couple of months since you’ve made positive changes to your relationship with food and it shows. You feel great and look great. You’re 15 pounds lighter and you are glowing like a schoolgirl in love.

Your clothes are now too big so you take yourself shopping. You buy an outfit that makes you feel as good as you look. You decide to put it aside for next week’s family reunion at your parents’ house. You haven’t seen your family in a couple of months and you know that this fab new outfit will surely make their eyes bug out of their heads. Your sister is always getting compliments on her appearance and now it’s your turn to shine. And Aunt Edna’s snide remark about your second helping of cake at Christmas dinner has not been forgotten.

A week later, your outfit looks even better on you than it did when you first bought it. You proudly step out of the house, into your car and make your way to your parents’ house. A couple of hours later you arrive.

Your mother and sister are in the driveway as you pull up. When you step out of the car, you feel like a movie star exiting a limo. They greet you then hand you a couple of bags of groceries to bring into the house. No mention about how you look. You decide to let it go. They were too distracted with the groceries. Once the dust settles, they’ll surely say something.

As you help them unload the groceries in the kitchen, you make conversation. Still nothing about your new, slimmer body. Now you’re losing patience. Are they blind?

You go out to the backyard where about 20 of your relatives are milling about. They all greet you warmly and you make small talk. But still no one has anything to say about how you look. It’s perplexing. How could no one notice a 15-pound weight loss?

But then you see Aunt Edna out of the corner of your eye. You walk over to her, give her a kiss on the cheek, and ask her how she is. She smiles back and eyes you up and down. Finally, finally someone notices!

“Is that a new outfit?” asks Aunt Edna.

“Yes,” you say, twirling around. “You like it?”

“Not really,” she replies. “It makes you look like a hussy.”

This scenario may be a bit exaggerated but let’s face it: We’ve all been in a situation where we’ve worked hard for something, were proud of our accomplishment and yet couldn’t even muster a teeny weensy bit of positive feedback from loved ones. Lack of recognition is especially hurtful when you’re making changes to your very physical being. Not being noticed can make you feel invisible.

But before you blame this phenomenon on the callous, unloving people in your life, you might want to consider the kind of energy you’re putting out into the Universe. The attention you think you deserve is directly connected to your intentions for doing something, and these intentions are often reflected in the way people react to you. Let’s face it: Human beings are for the most part pretty socially motivated people. Looking to others for validation is perfectly normal and feedback is essential to our wellbeing. However, the woman in this scenario was totally unaware of her twisted intentions for losing weight and the negative energy she was putting out at her family gathering.

Her efforts to get slim were motivated by her bruised and needy ego. She believed in her heart that her sister got all of the attention and that Edna made a negative comment about her weight at Christmas. Her ego had an axe to grind and she was determined to steal the limelight from her sister and make Aunt Edna eat her words. She never considered that perhaps her sister is a kind, loving soul who attracts people with her inner light and maybe Edna made that comment at Christmas because she was delighted to see her niece was enjoying her cake.

Regardless of how wonderful it is that she took control of her weight, she was too wrapped up in her ego’s needs to get the positive feedback she was looking for. Instead, she just got her fears about NOT being noticed reflected back to her. She saw herself as a victim and the Universe continued to make sure she was regarded in the way she saw herself. Slimmer, yes, but still somehow unworthy of positive feedback. The Universe obliged accordingly.

Any changes you make to your body must come from good, pure intentions. Those intentions need to come from a place of self-love. These intentions can make or break your efforts. Positive, healthy intentions lead to positive, healthy results.

Compliments are wonderful – believe me, as a Leo I understand very well how one sincere compliment can have you walking on Cloud Nine for at least a week. However, it’s when we can’t validate ourselves and need constant reassurance from others that we run into problems. You can’t rely on others for validation and motivation. You are the only person you have control over.

Sadly we’re taught early on that being self-satisfied is not a very cool character trait. True, nobody likes a smug narcissist. But being able to look at yourself in the mirror, being satisfied with the reflection and not needing the extra support of others does not make you a narcissist. It means you’re aware that you’re nothing less than perfection and you know it. How could a chip off the old block of Divine Intelligence be anything less than perfect? It’s simply impossible.

A narcissist is a person whose EGO tells them they’re perfect and they believe they are superior to others. They’re usually pretty obnoxious about it, too. A loving, kind person who’s aware of their own perfection – and the perfection of others – at a soul level is NOT a narcissist. That person is merely going with the current of the Universal flow.

In the above scenario, if the woman was motivated by physical and emotional health and self-love, she would have certainly been noticed. No one would have been able to resist her confident glow born of peaceful self-acceptance. Her inner beauty would have burst forth in Technicolor splendor.

On a final note, compliments follow the same Universal laws as everything else: What you give is what you get. If you are open about giving sincere compliments to others, you will receive sincere compliments right back. It’s no surprise that people who are desperate for compliments from others are also usually stingy about giving them.

Until next time…

PeaceNLove,

Laura

Nobody’s perfect, right?

That’s absolutely, positively not true. Add that saying to the list of untruths that you’ve been conditioned to emphatically believe.

EVERYBODY is perfect. You are nothing less than a miracle. You are a manifestation of Divine Intelligence, a chip off the old block (meaning God) if you will. When you look in the mirror and reject what you see, you’re basically rejecting His work. I don’t care what you look like or what size you are, if you’re searching for a living, breathing expression of perfection, look no further than your own reflection.

If you’ve been reading my blogs, you probably know by now that I’m a firm believer of every human being’s ability to manifest his or her own reality. Imagination is key: If you can see something in your mind’s eye and believe and feel what you’re imagining to be true, then it shall be reality.

Einstein said it best: “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”

The guy was a genius.

Therefore, it stands to reason that if you want to achieve a healthy, fit, slim body, just imagine yourself as healthy, fit and slim. Create that frequency, emit that vibration. Believe it, live it as if it’s already a fact, and reality has no choice but to catch up. Right? Well, technically, yes.

The problem is we don’t know how to see ourselves as the perfect beings we are. Instead, thanks to our compulsive need to compare ourselves to the “perfect” faces and bodies slammed down our throats by the media, we’re conditioned to feel inadequate and imperfect – the exact opposite of the truth. As a society we are so wrapped up with unrealistic and arbitrary ideas of what beauty really is that we’ve become terribly disconnected from what makes us each uniquely beautiful. The message, generally not spoken, is still heard loud and clear: A certain “type” of human beauty is ideal and the individuals who embody these traits and characteristics are the most valued in our society.

What’s even sadder is we’re responsible for victimizing ourselves by unwittingly choosing to buy into these beliefs. And the Universe is matching our frequencies with an obesity and self-esteem problem of epic proportions. We feel unattractive and the Universe has no choice but to oblige. After all, it’s physics.

Let me just say up front that I don’t have a problem with Hollywood. Not at all. I like to be entertained as much as the next person. I have a problem with society’s relationship with Hollywood. It’s a love/hate relationship that causes self-esteem problems on an individual level (not to mention a ridiculous imbalance of wealth and power on a socio-economic level, but that’s a different topic all together). I also don’t have an issue with the fashion industry. I love clothes. I’ve always had a passion for fashion. Again, my issue is with society’s relationship with the fashion industry. As with Hollywood, it portrays the unattainable and unrealistic, which results in self-hatred.

We, the consumers, perpetuate that imbalance of power by buying into what the entertainment and fashion industry is selling both literally and figuratively. We love the strangers on TV and in magazines more than we love ourselves. Is it any wonder celebrities keep getting wealthier and more beautiful? They are the recipients of a collective pool of positive, loving energy. We gaze at their pictures in awe of their beauty. We, on the other hand, are the recipients of eye rolls and self-loathing when we look in the mirror or step on the scale. What sense does that make?

And even if you just so happen to be the “perfect specimen” as defined by current societal standards, you still cannot escape the inevitable fall from grace called aging. It’s so sad that we are conditioned to believe that the beauty of youth is greater than the beauty of maturity. Consider how ridiculous this is: As a race, more and more of us are now living well into our 90s. According to the images we see in magazines, movies and TV, we (especially women) are considered to be at our peak beauty-wise between the ages of 16 and 35. So that’s 19 years out of the 90 that we’re considered the most desirable. That’s insane.

What is the point of this? Why would the mature population – the majority – let the beauty they’ve attained from years on this planet be usurped by the naïveté of youth? Don’t get me wrong: Youth produces some pretty fine looking specimens. But there’s nothing like a Saturn Return* or two for adding a depth of character that is (in my opinion) a true hallmark of beauty.

[I can go on about the pervasive ageism in our society, but I’ve digressed enough. Some other time.]

I would never presume to know exactly what’s so broken inside of us as a society that causes us to overeat and mistreat our bodies. And far be it for me to even suggest there’s a hard fast solution. However, I do believe that if you want to start making changes on a personal level, you need not look any further than the advice I posted earlier from one of the greatest minds ever to walk the face of the Earth. For your convenience, I’ll repeat Einstein’s quote from earlier right here: “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”

Visualization plays a very big part on our ability to manifest our intentions and desires. Tweak your thinking, work with your imagination and the Universe will have but no choice than to manifest the frequency, vibration, of your vision into reality. But don’t sabotage your ability to transform yourself by envisioning your head on Jennifer Lopez’s body. You’ve got to visualize the ultimate you – no one else. Remember, YOU ARE PERFECTION ALREADY. By wanting to look like someone else, you’re not only sending the Universe mixed messages, you’re basically telling God that his work (you) just isn’t good enough and you need a fill in.

You must fill your head and heart with images of a healthy, slim you based on what you already look like. You want to get slim because you want to be healthy, NOT because you want to look like some airbrushed model in a fashion magazine. Intention is very important here: If your intention is to get a hot body in order to make others jealous or to be adored by millions, your intention is most likely not coming from the best place. The Universe has no time for those kinds of requests.

And I don’t care what some fitness gurus say: Don’t hang up pictures of fit and healthy bodies on your mirror or refrigerator as an effort to inspire and motivate you to stay on track. These experts mean well, they really do. However, looking to someone else’s body as your “goal” or as the epitome of beauty and fitness is not going to empower you – it’s only going to remind you of who you are not. Aspiring to look like someone else is nothing short of turning your back on your own magnificence.

Here’s a fun exercise: Try taking out a picture of yourself and looking at it once a day with the same awe and love as you do when you look at Brad Pitt’s picture on the checkout stand at the grocery store. I don’t recommend doing this publicly because you might come off as an egotistical nut job. No, this is an exercise that you should do alone. But do it. Gaze upon your image with love, see and feel your perfection. I guarantee the Universe will match that frequency and you’ll start feeling and looking better. Send loving energy to yourself, not Brad. He really doesn’t need your help. You deserve just as much love and adoration as any celebrity.

The Universe recognizes all humans as equal and once you put yourself in line with the Universal flow, you’ll be amazed with the changes in your weight and appearance. Actually, you’ll be so in love with life, you may actually stop obsessing over appearances all together. And that’s what I call a good vibration.

Until next time…

PeaceNLove,

Laura

*Every 28 to 29 years, Saturn comes back to the same sign and degree it was at when you were born, resulting in a celestial ass kicking known as a Saturn Return. After being chewed up and spit out by Saturn, what’s left of the native is a wiser more mature version of the original self.

We’re all familiar with the saying, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”

Well, I hate to say it, but it IS what you say, no matter what kind of spin you put on it. Your thoughts, regardless of whether they stay in your head or fly off your lips, are energy. Actually, if you want to go deeper, the feelings surrounding these thoughts vibrate at an even higher level in the Universal ethers than the mere thought itself. Basically if you’re really feeling what you’re thinking, you’re literally manifesting that thought into reality.

We’re all also familiar with the saying, “Opposites attract.”

Well, that’s only true if you’re a magnet. Or if you’re a nice girl who’s trying to justify her taste for bad boys. No, in this world of ours like attracts like. Basically the energy you put out into the world is what defines your reality (yes, you create your reality). I’m not making this stuff up, folks. Countless books have been written on the subject. Einstein spent a better part of his career talking about the reality of reality. What you’re thinking and feeling is exactly what you’re going to get.

You see, there are no accidents. The Universe isn’t out to get you. It has no conscience. The Universe is merely a karmic accountant, making sure the checks and balances of your thoughts and feelings match up. So if you think you’re fat, feel fat, use negative words like fat, and buy into the connotations surrounding the word fat, well, chances are that’s just what the Universe is going to give you. Fat. As far as the Universe is concerned, it’s what you’re asking for. And until you change how you look at yourself and how you feel about your body, the Universe will continue delivering exactly what you don’t want.

So with that said, let’s explore what happens when you go on a diet. (Yuck. I even hate typing the word “diet”.) What do you think when you hear the word “diet”? Better yet, how do you feel? Well, I’ll tell you what I think when I hear the word: Deprivation. Struggle. Bummer. And I’ll tell you how I feel when I hear the word: Disappointment. Depressed. HUNGRY. I mentioned in my previous blog that the word “die” is in the word “diet”. And just hearing the word makes most of us want to jump in front of a bus.

[Actually, in my mind if the word “diet” were French it would appear to mean “little death.” Die-ette. Oui, oui. However, in French the word “orgasm” is actually synonymous with the phrase “the little death”, which in my opinion conjures up much more positive thoughts and feelings. Furthermore the French don’t really need to diet because they have this habit of remaining thin. Perhaps this has something to do with the orgasms. But I digress.]

What do you intend to do when you go on a diet? Lose weight. So now not only are we dying, we’re losing. Think about what the Universe is hearing from you:

“I’m fat. I need to lose weight. I must go on a diet.” So right there that sentence is sending the Universe a message about fat (which is as ugly of a word as diet) and loss. On a feeling level, the Universe is receiving a message about shame (thanks to the connotations surrounding the “f” word), deprivation, hunger and struggle. So in its infinite wisdom, as an attempt to match up your energy with what it appears you’re asking for, when you go on a diet the Universe hands you loss, unhappiness, struggle and shame. The Universe is just matching like with like. It’s what you asked for, right? And you have the nerve to be ungrateful.

As I’ve said, you create your reality with your thoughts and feelings. Actually, reality IS your thoughts and feelings. So imagine what’s possible if you changed your thoughts and feelings about your weight and how you manage it. Do you see where I’m going with this? Eradicate the word “diet” from your lexicon. Don’t even utter the word “lose.” And for the love of Pete, dump the word “diet.” It’s wrong on so many levels.

Replace those words with positive ones like “healthy” and “slim.” Announce to the world, “My intention is to maximize my health, get slim and love my body.” Dump the guilt, self-loathing and shame and you’ll see that the Universe will do the same.

Here’s another tip: Get out of the future and live in the now. Don’t say, “I’m going to get slim and healthy.” Because if you do, that’s exactly when the Universe will figure you want your desires manifested: In the future. And when exactly is the future? Not now. Never now. And with the emotions associated with your statement being even more powerful than the words themselves, the promise of feeling good about yourself remains in the future as well. You need to see yourself as healthy and slim NOW, and to feel good about yourself NOW. Think it, feel it, believe it, manifest it. It’s as simple as it sounds.

The hardest part is changing how you think and the words you use. You need to be conscious of how you think and the language you use internally and verbally. But I guarantee that once you put yourself in line with the intention of the Universe – to live in love and harmony with yourself and the world around you – you’ll find that the journey to a healthy, slim body is not only easy but also joyous.

One more thing: Love yourself. Love life. Be love. There’s no one more beautiful than someone in love, there’s nothing more powerful than love itself. We’re all familiar with the saying, “It’s what’s on the inside that counts, not the outside.” Well, that saying is actually true. Love is what makes us truly beautiful, and if you show yourself unconditional love and compassion, people will only see you as beautiful no matter what size you are.

Until next time…

PeaceNLove,

Laura

Life has taken a turn for me since January. Yet thanks to the relentless stream of planets that have been going in and out of retrograde (Mars, Mercury, Venus, Saturn, Neptune, Pluto) so much of this shift has been occurring for me on an internal level. However, my external is catching up with my internal as it’s become obvious I’ve slimmed down. I’m sure other physical manifestations are around the corner, but right now my weight is the most apparent.

So of course I’m getting lots of questions about how I did it. I really don’t know what to say other than I didn’t “do” anything. I just made some very critical changes to my overall way of thinking. I basically put myself back in line with nature and the Universe and let the rest take care of itself.

Yep, just as I suspected. Heels are briskly making their getaway down the hall. Doors are slamming. Cars are peeling out. I’ve lost half of you. OK, well at least half of you have remained to read on. Thanks for sticking around. The others will come back around eventually.

I realized back in January when I stepped on the scale and was horrified by the number staring back at me that something had to change. Every January 1st for the past nine years has started off with me stepping on that freaking contraption, hating myself at first and then vowing to lose the weight. And that’s just what I did. I’d go on a diet, exercise until I injured myself, lose some weight, then completely wig out and gain it all back. Only to face the next New Year with the same old issue.

During my times of what I considered failure, I’d console myself by looking around at everyone else and taking false comfort in the fact that I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t really fat, after all – just plumper than I needed to be. I reasoned that I was living in the fattest country in the world and that I should just chill and accept who I was. But being overweight isn’t who I am. It’s really not who any of us are. We’re really just souls borrowing our bodies for our current incarnation here in the Earth school. And it’s kinda rude to borrow something and return it all ruined.

It didn’t help that I was quite thin as a younger adult and the memory of being able to fit into a size 2 made me hate myself more. Of course I was a smoker during those years and I used cigarettes as a very effective form of weight management. I looked great, but was killing myself. So when I quit smoking in my early 30s, then had kids in my mid to late 30s, the good folks at Phlillip Morris no longer had my back when I attempted to slim down. I had no calorie-free method of filling the hole inside of me. Food had to do.

So for about nine years I tried diet after diet and endured failure after failure. Then this year it dawned on me: What you’re doing is not working. I don’t care if Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutri System, the South Beach Diet, the 17 Day Diet – yes, I tried them all – have all sorts of scientific data backing their programs. They don’t work because they don’t address the real problem of why we eat in the first place. Just like the medical community in this country, these diets are only treating the symptoms. But the symptoms come back if the problem is not addressed.

So what is the problem?

I’ll tell you what I think it is: A disconnection from our soul’s purpose in life.

[Things are quiet out there. Did I lose another half of you? I promise you, this will make sense if you keep reading.]

Happiness alludes so many of us. I’m not talking about surface happiness. I’m talking about a deep feeling of happiness that results in an outpouring of love and gratitude for our blessings. So many of us feel that something is missing whether we’re aware of it or not. So we reach for externals in order to compensate for the internals. And we try make the inner feel better with the outer, whether it’s a bigger house, nicer clothes, better car or hotter body.

The weird thing about our bodies, though, is that our inner and outer are intrinsically connected. And even if you see someone whom you consider to be thin and enviable, unless that inner is taken care of, the outer will eventually suffer the consequences (like me and my smoking.) The inner will always affect the outer, they’ll always be a reflection of each other even if it takes a while for one to catch up.

Often when we feel lost and empty, food – which is related to both survival and nurturing on a primal level – is our drug of choice. It keeps us anesthetized so we don’t realize we’re not living the lives we know we should be living. And unlike drugs and alcohol, we can’t give up eating. We need to eat to survive. So how do we give up a drug that we really can’t give up? It’s a quandary we attempt to rectify by dieting.

Notice the word “die” in “diet”? Diets set you up to fail, they’re a literal lose/lose. The minute we go on a diet, the energy we put out to the Universe is “I must lose weight. I must give up eating”. Well, the Universe is going to deliver exactly what you intend: loss and giving up. This passage that I just recently came across in Dr. Wayne Dyer’s, The Power of Intention eloquently explains this concept:

“Your unbending intention may be to be slim and healthy. You know that the universal all-creative Spirit brought you into existence in that microscopic dot of human cellular tissue not to be sickly, overweight, or unattractive … but to create love, be kind, and express beauty. This is what the power of intention intended for you to become. Now get this: You cannot attract attractiveness into your life by hating anything about what you’ve allowed yourself to become. Why? Because hatred creates a counter-force of hatred that disempowers your efforts.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer, The Power of Intention

This past January, I made a conscious decision to do things differently. And I wasn’t going to kill myself doing it. At the time I didn’t realize that I was aligning myself with intention; I just recognized what didn’t work for me in the past (dieting) and decided to make an about face.

I looked seriously at the food I was putting in my mouth and made a concerted effort to make sure that food was worthy of being introduced to my body. Conversely, I made sure the food was treated lovingly and with respect before it made it to my table – no preservatives, organic, free range, etc. (If you go back and read my blogs under the Lifestyles section of G-Fitness Revolution, you’ll see how I changed my eating habits.) I see now that embracing a natural way of eating was also putting myself in line with harmony, and my body started to reflect this. I didn’t focus on loss. Instead I focused on love.

The more I achieved a state of nutritional and physical balance, the less I thought about my weight. Instead, I started to open myself back up to what I love to do: Write. It’s as if I came out of a fog and into the light. And this light was always there. I always knew that writing was what I loved to do. But I didn’t realize that writing was what I needed to do to fill the insatiable hole. By acting with love and compassion toward myself the Universe returned the favor by opening my eyes to my purpose. Instead of being consumed with what I can or can’t eat like I’ve been in the past when I’ve dieted, my head is now filled with ideas for writing projects. And I feel that part of my purpose as a writer is to also share this journey with you. (Not to mention I’ve got both Saturn and the North Node in the astrological sixth house of health and service, so it’s high time I stepped up.)

In my humble opinion, the extra weight on your body is just an external reminder of your soul’s discontent. I believe that when you connect to your soul’s purpose here on Earth, you’ll no longer need to fill the emptiness you feel with food. You won’t even think about food unless you’re hungry!

My advice to anyone who wants to look better on the outside is to take care of the inside first. And I’m not talking about going to therapy or keeping a journal. Go deeper. Get in touch with that spark of magnificence inside you, reconnect with your dreams, remember what you aspired to as a child before you were told you were unrealistic and you were just an impossible dreamer. Therein lies the answer you’re looking for. And you don’t have to have all of your ducks in a row to start the journey. Just set your intention to live in a healthy, vibrant body, see yourself in that body, feel yourself in that body, then start living. The Universe will magically fill in the blanks and you’ll find yourself transforming from the inside out.

Maybe you’re thinking at this point that you are a happy, fulfilled person and that your extra weight is definitely not a result of inner unhappiness – though it’s definitely causing inner unhappiness. Well, even if that’s the case, I’d still urge you to really think about whether you feel truly aligned with your mission here in life. Something is causing you to overeat and it’s not physical hunger – it’s a hunger much deeper in nature. You need to get in touch with that. The good news is all you need to do is ask and just listen: The answer always comes.

My journey is not over; it’s really just begun. And though I’ve recognized the “insatiable hole” in myself, it’s now my intention to make sure that it’s always filled with what I love to do, not with food that gives me a false sense of fulfillment.

My upcoming blogs will get into further detail about my discoveries surrounding this topic. Until then, I have some suggested reading for those who are interested:

Seat of the Soul, by Gary Zukav
Wishes Fulfilled, by Dr. Wayne Dyer
The Power of Intention, by Dr. Wayne Dyer

Notice none of these are diet books. I’ve read tons of diet books but I can assure you that you’ll find these books are so much more valuable and useful to your issue with weight. You’ll see. Keep in mind that the authors of these books are the learned ones, the gurus, the advisors, NOT ME. I’m but an enthusiastic student reporting my findings.

I’ll be back soon. Until then…

PeaceNLove,

Laura

Happy spring to all of you! Collectively we’ve all been dragging our heels thanks to the Mars retrograde that started back in January. And of course Mercury had to jump on the bandwagon and do a backwards boogie for these past few weeks, too. But luckily that is about to all change in April. Check out my April Health and Fitness Horoscopes at G Fitness Revolution to see what the planets have in store for you this coming month. And if you’re an Aries, check out the Aries Health and Fitness Profile.

Besides for astrology, G Fitness Revolution is an online resource for getting into the shape of your life and reaching optimum health. The site is growing at a rapid rate and soon it will move to subscription only. Check out all that it has to offer now while you can peruse it for free.

As for this blog, keep checking in to see my recent thoughts with an astrological twist. I’m also contributing a Health and Fitness Blog on G Fitness Revolution about my own journey to health and fitness. Please check it out.

Peace N Love to all of you!

Laura